Writer At WarKendrick Lamar in his own words.A lot of times in interviews, people ask me things like, “How does it feel now? What have you bought your mom and your pops and family?” Nobody ever really asks about what it’s like trying to adapt to fame and money and how much of a depression it can make for you. How much of a depression it could put you in knowing that so many kids hang on to your words. I can’t make a song like “i” without being in that dark place. “i” comes from going overseas, going to New York, being in L.A. and hearing kids saying, “Kendrick, I was gonna kill myself last week. Section.80, good kid, m.A.A.d city saved my life.” Or “I was gonna kill myself tonight until I came to your show.”
インタビューでよく聞かれるのは、今の気持ちや家族への贈り物についてだ。名声や富に適応することの難しさ、子供たちの言葉への影響、それらがどれほどのプレッシャーになるかについては誰も聞かない。「i」のような曲は、暗い場所にいないと書けない。海外やニューヨーク、ロサンゼルスで子供たちに「ケンドリック、先週自殺するところだった。Section.80、good kid, m.A.A.d cityが僕を救ってくれた」や「今夜自殺するところだったけど、君のショーに来て思いとどまった」と言われる。
I believe that they are telling the truth. At first I wasn’t so sure, maybe it was just they were excited to meet me. But then they showed me their wrists and had all these different scars from when they tried to take their lives but failed. Or I look into their eyes and their pupils are dilated and they on all these types of meds and drugs, it’s a whole different story to me. That’s when I learned that while I’m making music for myself, drawing from my own experiences and conflictions and battles within myself, this teenager listens to every word I say. And that’s spooky
彼らは真実を語っていると信じている。最初は興奮しているだけだと思っていたが、手首の傷や薬を服用している様子を見て、考えが変わった。自分の葛藤や経験から曲を作っている一方で、10代の若者が真剣に耳を傾けていることを知った。それは恐ろしいことだ。
I think one of my biggest battles within myself is embracing leadership. You always grow up and you hate the term “role model.” You would say, “I don’t wanna be a role model. I don’t want none of that.” But in actuality, you are the biggest role model. It’s impossible to fight the title of role model. Especially when the type of music I make is so personal. People feel like they can relate to me or that they are me. They feel like they know my whole life story even though we from different worlds. So when I go out and meet them in public, I don’t get a response like, “Kendrick, will you sign this real quick?” Or, “I wanna just take this picture with you.” No, they want to have full conversations. I find out that they live their lives by my music and that right there is something[Kendrick Lamar's XXL Cover Story - Second Clip]When I try to soak it all in, that’s the only thing that kind’ve scare me, feel me? Life is sad in general and I’m meeting these different people every day. It kind’ve snaps me back into reality outside of what I do. Outside of the girls, outside of the cars, the money, it really ain’t that important when you meeting somebody that’s still in the struggle. These the people that live their lives in dark spaces, every day , you know, and they use my music as some sort of tool to keep going, almost like a Bible, you know? These kids feel like they got nothing to believe in but they see me and say, “Kendrick, I believe in you. I believe in your music.” And what happens it puts me in some type of space where it’s almost like some type of worship or responsibility, but I know it. I can see itAnything I say or do, I don’t take back, I don’t regret.I think one of my biggest assets is not knowing how famous I am. Or even excluding the word, I hate the word “famous.” I’m aware of it. I know people treat me different because of it. And the more I am aware of that and play into it, the more I become detached from the real world. So it’s really about balance. The more somebody opens the door for me and I walk through without acknowledging that they opened the door for me, the more I become separate from others
私の中で最大の葛藤の一つは、リーダーシップを受け入れることだ。「ロールモデル」という言葉は嫌いだが、実際は自分が最大のロールモデルになっている。私の作る音楽は個人的なものなので、人々は私に共感したり、私自身だと感じたりする。違う世界に住んでいても、私の人生を知っているように感じるのだ。だから公の場では「サインください」「写真撮ってください」ではなく、深い会話を求められる。彼らは私の人生を私の音楽で生きている。[ケンドリック・ラマーのXXL表紙インタビュー - セカンドクリップ]全てを受け止めようとすると、それが唯一怖い。人生は悲しいもので、毎日いろんな人に会う。女の子や車、お金の外にある現実、日々暗い場所で生きている人々、私の音楽を聖書のように生きるためのツールにしている人々。彼らは私に「ケンドリック、私はあなたを信じています。あなたの音楽を信じています」と言う。それは私にある種の責任感を与える。私が言うこと、することは決して撤回しない。
I had a talk with Lauryn Hill and she said, “Try to completely throw away your ego.” How many times can you throw away an ego, you know? It’s tough. It’s something we all battle with. I battle with it all the time and the idea of being in all these places—the big spots, all the events, the lights—it’s all for your ego. It’s all for your own confirmation to be like, okay, I’m somebody. But truthfully, you’ve always been somebody. You don’t need the lights
ローリン・ヒルと話した時、「エゴを捨てなさい」と言われた。エゴを捨てるのは難しい。華やかな場所やイベント、照明は全てエゴのためだ。「自分は特別な存在だ」と確認するため。でも実際は、あなたは常に特別な存在であり、照明は必要ない。
I try to think about that. Also, I like to look at old pictures and think of things from back in the day that kind of draws me back to where I came from. I think a lot of times when artists are in so much of the now, they only think of what’s ahead of them, which is cool. But I look at pictures of the small little apartment that I come from in Compton and things like that. And it always trips me out when I get too far out there where I’m missing phone calls or not responding to text messages on time or my peoples is hitting me, my moms is and I can’t get back to her. Sometimes you on the go and you forget about those little things
昔の自分の写真を見て、過去の出来事を思い出すことで、自分の原点に立ち返るようにしている。アーティストは未来志向になりがちだが、私はコンプトンの小さなアパートの写真を見る。電話に出なかったり、メールの返信が遅れたり、母親の電話に出られない時、自分が遠くに行ってしまったことに気づく。
It’s definitely a gift and a curse when you make music as personal as I make it. Of course you get the kids out there that say that they relate to you and this song saved their lives, and you helped them with their assignment for this and that. And then at the same time, your privacy is not respected. And all entertainers go through it, but moreso the ones that make very personal music, because it’s not just me you’re focusing on now when I’m out in public, but also on individual characters that I’m talking about in my music. So that’s a whole other ballgame and it’s just something that I’ve gotta acceptWhen I’m completely drained of inspiration, that’s when I’m finished with the project.I think the way it is, the positive aspect of me gaining more listeners and giving them some type of motivation and relatable effect, it’s more than running from somebody snapping a picture of my mom’s van that was on my album cover, that she actually still has. I’d never think that would happen, but it’s happened plenty of times to where she has to hide the van now. She can’t drive that thing no more. And she’s old school, she wanna drive it. But I never want them to be in this type of world, because not everybody can handle it. I think the average person wouldn’t be able to handle the day-to-day. It’s a lot of things you gotta deal with. So me doing that, it’s just a piece of me. I gotta find balance and try not to really get too frustrated over it
個人的な音楽を作ることは、贈り物であり、呪いでもある。子供たちは共感し、人生を救われたと言う。一方で、プライバシーは尊重されない。全てのエンターテイナーが経験することだが、個人的な音楽を作る場合は特にそうだ。なぜなら、公の場では私だけでなく、私の音楽に登場する人物にも焦点が当てられるからだ。アルバムのジャケットに写っていた母のバンを誰かが写真に撮るようなことがあり、母はバンを隠さなければならなくなった。彼女はもうそのバンを運転できない。普通の生活を送る人々は、日々の出来事に耐えられないだろう。
I’d be lying to you to say I knew good kid, m.A.A.d city would be as successful as it has been. In the beginning I was very doubtful. Once I was done, the jitters hit me so fast. I was so confident in making it, because I was like, “This is it, man. Nobody heard this story and if you heard it, you heard it in bits and pieces but I’m finna put it to you in a whole album—from Compton, from the hood, from the streets—it’s a whole other perspective and light, I’ma go back and do the skits just like how Biggie and Dre and Snoop and ’Pac did it. And I’ma tell my story.” Then I wrapped up with it and said, “Man, what’s on the radio right now? I don’t think they doin’ skits and things like that.” I don’t know if the people are gonna understand what I’m talkin’ about on this album because it’s almost like a puzzle pieced together, and albums ain’t been created like this in a long time. Albums that actually still reach the masses, at least
good kid, m.A.A.d cityがこれほど成功するとは思っていなかった。完成した時は不安だった。「誰もこの物語を聞いたことがない。コンプトン、ゲットー、ストリートからの全く新しい視点だ。ビギーやドレー、スヌープ、パックのようにスキットを入れて、自分の物語を伝える」と思いながら制作した。しかし、完成した時に「今のラジオでスキットは流行っていない」と思い、人々が理解してくれるか不安になった。
My whole outlook on being signed was to have an actual massive commercial successful album. This is what you think as a kid. You don’t know nothing about creative process and things like that. So I didn’t know how blessed I was to actually go and make an album that I can create and control 100 percent. When I was done with it, I was like, “Man, these people believe in me like this? They let me just do this whole thing by myself like this? I don’t know. Y’all sure I’m right?”
契約した理由は、商業的に成功するアルバムを作りたかったからだ。子供の頃は、クリエイティブなプロセスについて何も知らない。だから、100%自分でコントロールできるアルバムを作れるほど恵まれているとは思っていなかった。完成した時は「彼らは私をこんなに信じてくれているのか？こんな風に全部自分でやらせてくれるのか？本当にこれでいいのか？」と不安だった。
I was nervous because I didn’t think the people would understand it. And I get a call from Pharrell. He said he had a copy of the album and it’s amazing. And I was like, that call was right on time because that was when I was feeling super insecure about it. Pharrell said, “Never feel that way again. When that little negative man come behind your head, always follow your first heart, and that was your first heart, to put the album out like this.” This is his words verbatim, he said, “Watch what’s gonna happen.”I believe in this theory that when you get success and you get fame and money, it makes you be you times ten.When I come up to certain artists, artists that I’ve always looked up to, and they can recite my records that wasn’t the single, that puts me in a space where, okay, this is a person I always respect and to get their respect back was almost like confirmation for me. I always thought confirmation would be having a lot of money, and things I could do for my family
人々が理解してくれるか不安だった。その時、ファレルから電話がかかってきて、アルバムを聴いたと言われ、素晴らしいと言われた。その電話は、まさに私が不安を感じていた時にかかってきた。ファレルは「二度とそんな風に感じるな。ネガティブな気持ちになったら、最初の気持ちに従え。それが君の最初の気持ちだった。アルバムをこのまま出すんだ。」と言った。彼の言葉通り、「どうなるか見てろ」と言われた。成功と名声、お金を得ると、10倍自分らしくなると信じている。尊敬するアーティストが、シングルカットされていない私の曲まで知っていると、大きな喜びを感じる。お金を稼ぐことや家族のために何かできることが成功だと思っていた。
Because that was what we was taught when you come from these urban neighborhoods, you was taught that having money was success and that’s all you see, all you know. So once I got the money and everything else that comes with it, I felt like I wasn’t satisfied. I’m looking around like, this is great security, but I don’t even spend it on myself, I spend it on my loved ones. That makes me feel good knowing I can support somebody that’s in need. But at the same time, I’m feeling like, okay, what’s after this? So what I realized was, my greatest fulfillment of accomplishment was having somebody that I looked up to for so many years and knowing that I put in that same dedication and work and them saying, “Thank you.” And them being able to recite them lyricsKendrick Lamar - Bitch, Don't Kill My Vibe ([Explicit)]I think the first time I played “Bitch, Don’t Kill My Vibe” for Andre 3000 was before it came out. I never share my album while I’m creating. I think that the situation with Andre was one of those things where he was in the studio with Dre and Dre was like, “Play some stuff .” I can’t say no to Dr. Dre. But me creating music, I never really play music for anybody, even people inside the camp because it can almost sway your creative process 100 percent. So along with that, I cut off everything on the radio; I really just duck off from music. Because I’m gonna be influenced and I don’t want to be. That has always been my process. I just feel like, it’s really the only prized possession that I actually can control, you know? It’s selfishness for sure, but it’s my selfishness and I own it I know a lot of people that go around and play music to get approval because some are not so confident in the things they do. But with me, personally, I can only speak for myself, this is me. Anything I say or do, I don’t take back, I don’t regret. That’s how I was feeling at the time and that’s how y’all gonna get it, and I own it. Love me or hate me, I own it. It is what it is. And that’s how I look at itFrom 13 years old to the time I was 21, I was in a mode of mastering how to be a rapper. Like a rapper’s rapper, using my tongue as a sword, a fuckin’ barbarian. That’s all it was about, slaying words. So when I turned 21, 22, somewhere around there, I got into a mode where it became more of a writer aspect for me rather than just being a rapper ’cause this is around the same time where cats weren’t putting out mixtapes anymore. They was putting out full bodies of work and wasn’t even signed to a major label. So by that time, that’s when I started developing and actually constructing my music from a writer’s point of view. good kid, m.A.A.d city was probably one of them albums that you could unfold out into a book and read it. And that’s how I treat everything. Everything is critical like that from here on out. It’s the art of writingSo you ask yourself in the midnight hour, ‘Who am I? Is this really what I’m supposed to be doing? How did I get here? Why am I doing this? What’s my responsibility?'This is more than just music for me. This is actually a piece of me. I’m obsessed with it. And that’s how I take it. When I make my music, it comes from a genuine space where I’m already spreading myself wide to the world. So during my process in creating it, that time is for me, personally. That’s for my heart, those are my memories that helped me up with these lyrics and get inspiration. That was my memories. Taking those inspirations and going into that booth, that’s something that I hold dear
都会の貧しい地域では、お金を持つことが成功だと教え込まれる。だからお金を得た時、満足できなかった。愛する人たちに使うことは良いことだが、同時に「この次は何だろう？」と感じていた。成功の最大の喜びは、長年尊敬してきた人から「ありがとう」と言われ、歌詞を暗唱されることだと気づいた。ケンドリック・ラマー - Bitch, Don't Kill My Vibe（[Explicit]）アンドレ3000に初めて「Bitch, Don't Kill My Vibe」を聴かせたのは、リリース前だった。制作中は誰にも聴かせない。創造的なプロセスに影響を与える可能性があるからだ。ラジオも聴かない。自分の貴重な所有物だと感じている。確かにわがままだが、自分のわがままだ。
When I’m completely drained of inspiration, that’s when I’m finished with the project. When I start maybe trying to tamper with things that I shouldn’t tamper with, I’ve already had done, that’s when I’m done and I know I’ve exhausted inspiration. That comes with not wanting to actually rush the process. I always want to put it down to the last idea, and once I’m drawn away from it, that’s when I say, okay, let’s take all these pieces—they might not even be songs—let’s take these pieces and construct it. So what I want to say, and how I want to execute it becomes clear
インスピレーションが尽きた時、プロジェクトは完成する。手を加えるべきでないものに手を加え始めたら、インスピレーションを使い果たしたことになる。プロセスを急ぎたくない。最後のアイデアまで書き留めたい。それから離れて、断片を組み立てていく。何をどう表現したいかが明確になる。
It’s the best part because the things that I say on my records—this is another reason why I don’t just play records for people—you won’t necessarily get it until it’s constructed. I know what type of artist I am. I’m not an artist that’s gonna give you a single and say, “This is what my album’s gonna sound like, go sell it.” That’s not me. I’m just not that artist to give you one or two songs here and there and run with it. Everybody has their own niche. With mine, I just own it, and I know that’s exactly what that is. And I wanna keep that lane. I don’t want to jump in somebody else’s lane and try to do their moves because it may not work for me like it worked for them. So I stay where I feel like I’m inspired
私のレコードの言葉は、組み立てられるまで意味が分からない。だから誰にも聴かせない。私はシングルを出して「これがアルバムの音だ、売ってくれ」というタイプのアーティストではない。1、2曲だけ出して終わりというアーティストではない。それぞれ独自のニッチがある。私は自分のニッチを所有し、それを維持したい。他人のレーンに飛び込んで、彼らの動きを真似したくない。自分のインスピレーションを感じる場所にいたい。
What’s crazy to me is that I feel the same energy now that I felt before my first album. I know there’s lot of pressure for me on this new album but it don’t necessarily scare me. It’s almost confirmation, like, go in there and challenge yourself just the same way you challenged yourself the first time. Because I remember going to radio stations and them telling me this: “Dr. Dre had Snoop Dogg, 50 Cent, Eminem, you seen what Eminem did, right? Yeah, uh huh. Kendrick Lamar, he from the West Coast, and Compton, too. Dre from Compton, you see the legacy he left. Yeah, so I hope that album is good. Matter fact, you got the weight on your shoulders right now.”
不思議なことに、ファーストアルバムの前と同じエネルギーを感じる。新作へのプレッシャーはあるが、怖くはない。最初の時と同じように自分自身に挑戦しろと言われているようだ。ラジオ局で「ドクター・ドレーにはスヌープ・ドッグ、50セント、エミネムがいた。エミネムの成功を見たか？ケンドリック・ラマーは西海岸、コンプトン出身。ドレーもコンプトン出身。彼の残した遺産を見たか？アルバムが良いことを願っている。君には重責がのしかかっている」と言われた。
Thank you for that. Let me get in the studio now since you just put the battery in my back[Kendrick Lamar Covers XXL Magazine's Winter 2014 Issue]I thought I was going to win Best Rap Album at the Grammys. I put a lot of work in on my album and the biggest thing for me is knowing that it was basically an underground album. It didn’t have big No. 1 records on it and there wasn’t really any commercial hits. It was great songs and I think the message behind it reached as many listeners and believers as a super mainstream album. So for me, when you’re saying, “rap,” that would be my definition of something that deserved an accolade. Yep
ありがとう。その言葉でやる気が出た。[ケンドリック・ラマーがXXLマガジンの2014年冬号の表紙を飾る]グラミー賞で最優秀ラップアルバムを受賞すると思っていた。アルバム制作に多くの努力を注ぎ、アンダーグラウンドなアルバムだったことが一番重要だ。ナンバー1ヒット曲やコマーシャルヒットはなかった。素晴らしい曲ばかりで、メッセージは大衆向けのアルバムと同じくらい多くのリスナーに届いた。だから、賞に値すると思っていた。
I found out a lot about myself in these past two years. It’s scary. I know more about myself now than any other point of my life. I believe in this theory that when you get success and you get fame and money, it makes you be you times ten. I was a pretty shy and to myself type of person as a kid. And now 15 years later I’m in front of people every day, tens of thousands of people. So that makes me more of a recluse. That makes me not come outside of my world on the outskirts of L.A. and bounce around different places and things like thatWhat I do is for a greater purpose and we all need money and things like that to survive, but the energy around some of these spaces, it can draw you into a crazy place.So you ask yourself in the midnight hour, “Who am I? Is this really what I’m supposed to be doing? How did I get here? Why am I doing this? What’s my responsibility?” It’s a real trippy thing, you feel me? And I think it’s something that nobody can understand; only an artist can. Things change for you with success when you get money. I noticed when people started treating me a little bit different, the people that I cared about the most, my close friends and family. The artist don’t necessarily change, it’s usually the people around them. Their expectations of you can sometimes be out of control. You can do one thing that can trigger something mentally in them that makes them think that you don’t care about them or you don’t fuck with them no more when that’s not the case. You’re just more focused on what you have to do because it’s biggerThe moment I start seeing change in people around me, that’s when I know something is a little bit different. Then there’s tension in the air that I probably can’t necessarily deal with at the moment. ’Cause when the industry don’t understand me, and the business don’t understand me, these are the people I can run to. What happens when I can’t run to them?
この2年間で自分自身について多くのことを知った。怖いほどだ。人生で最も自分自身を知っている。成功と名声、お金を得ると、10倍自分らしくなると信じている。子供の頃は内気な性格だった。15年後、毎日何万人もの人の前に立っている。だから、より隠遁的になった。ロサンゼルス郊外の外に出たくない。私がやっていることは、より大きな目的のためだ。生活のためにはお金が必要だが、ある種の場所のエネルギーは、人を狂気の場所に引き込む可能性がある。真夜中に「私は誰だ？本当にこれをやるべきなのか？どうやってここにたどり着いたのか？なぜこれをやっているのか？私の責任は何だ？」と自問する。アーティストだけが理解できる、トリッキーなことだ。お金を得て成功すると、物事が変わる。周りの人、特に親しい友人や家族が私への接し方を変え始めたことに気づいた。アーティスト自身は変わらないが、周りの人は変わる。周りの人の期待は制御不能になることがある。あなたが気にしなくなった、付き合わなくなったと誤解されるようなことをしてしまう。違う、ただ目の前のことに集中しているだけだ。
Artists just get paranoid in any situation and circumstance. I’m always paranoid. I’m already a person who thinks a lot; sometimes I may overthink things or think too much. So when you’re put into a space where you feel like you can’t necessarily trust your close ones, that can do some whole other crazy thing to you psychologically. Seriously. All you got is you and God at the end of the day
アーティストはどんな状況でもパラノイアになる。私も常にそうだ。考えすぎるたちだ。親しい人を信じられないと感じると、精神的に大きな影響を受ける。最終的には自分と神だけだ。
The hard time for me was probably when I was on the road. It’s almost like you go on the road and you’re gone for two years. And this place you’ve known your whole life, these people you’ve known your whole life, everything is different when you come back. And you feel like, damn, your sanctuary is now on that tour bus. That dirty, stinky, smelly tour bus. And that’s one thing, among numerous other things, that have been hard sometimes. To the point where people are pulling for you left and right, where you feel like you don’t have control over your own life. Over your own well-being
辛い時期はツアー中だった。2年間ツアーに出て戻ってくると、全てが変わっている。自分の聖域が、汚くて臭いツアーバスになってしまう。多くのことの中でも、それが辛いことの一つだった。自分の生活、自分の幸福をコントロールできないと感じるところまで、人々に左右される。
What I do is for a greater purpose and we all need money and things like that to survive, but the energy around some of these spaces, it can draw you into a crazy place. And I’ve seen and heard some of the greats go out because of it. And I’m saying this right now to let everyone know, it’s real and you have to be mentally steady 100 percent in order to keep doing it at a high level and still maintain your sanity
私がやっていることは、より大きな目的のためだ。生きていくためにお金は必要だが、ある種の場所のエネルギーは、人を狂気の場所に引き込む。偉大な人々がそれで身を滅ぼしていくのを見てきた。正気を保ちながら高いレベルで活動を続けるためには、精神的に安定している必要がある。
